LIMITED DOSAGE
Tolerating the intolerable, but you still like her ...
Ever encountered this ....
I have this lady friend; an attraction exists between both of us. Known each other for several months now, went out a couple of times, talk on the phone regularly (at times). Now, everything is cool about her, except that at times I can't stand her; not in the aspect that we argue and/or bicker towards each other, but its just that at times her behavior and interests seem to be so distant from mines. Talking only about the latest fashions, desiring to only role in the flyest cars, aspiring to hang around celebrities, seem to be the depth of her intelligence at times (coincidentally, especially in public). And on a one-on-one, its like a completely different chick emerges; one who is knowledgeable, educated, introspective.
So I guess the problem exists in a public setting - once that is removed, I guess I should have no issues right? However, she always wants to go out here and there; especially because she inhabits the urban downtown core where she is accessible to everything. And I at times, like to go out and would like a fly chick by my side.
To move closer, would mean spending more time with her doing the things that 'couples do', but I don't think I can tolerate her in a high dosage (talking everyday, seeing each other frequently, etc.). And I feel that she wants to move closer, however, I can only stomach her in limited dosages; dosages that satisfy my needs ...
Is this wrong?
1 comments:
I can definitely relate because I also have a friend who I can only tolerate in limited doses. My friend and I met a few years ago and there was a slight attraction on my part, mainly because of his personality - he is a beautiful person inside. However, after confessing his love for me, I found it both repulsive and flattering that he would bend over backwards to please me. On the one hand, I wanted someone with a backbone, but on the other hand, I was quite pleased to see a man allow himself to be this vulnerable for ME! The fact that I'm still single implies that a man with a backbone appeals more to me than a man's sensitivity, not that sensitvity isn't important.
However, currently, I find myself in a situation on the other end of the spectrum. There's a certain young man that I'm really into and I'd like to think he's really into me well. The only problem is that I only get him in small doses, when in fact I'd like more of him. I'd love for a doctor to recommend that we both increase the doses of each other or even make it mandatory, but I doubt that will happen. He wants me to be patient, but patience is not one of my stronger virtues. What's a girl to do?
In answer to your question, however, I wouldn't "tolerate" someone I couldn't stand for longer than 5 minutes simply because I have no patience for it and I don't think you should either. You can't change her and you "tolerating" her sounds like you're hoping you can eventually change her or that you'll eventually be able to tolerate her - don't hold your breath. I don't believe in using innocent people either, mainly because I know firsthand that karma's a bitch.
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