Pussification pt. 2: No, I don't subscribe

Pussification pt. 2: No, I don't subscribe
A more succinct way of disagreement
View pt.0 and get familiar

Society has become increasingly tolerant and sensitive to the needs of others; looking at our etiology we have come a long way from the tyrant, barbarian behaviour of our ancestors. As of late, after the feminist and civil rights movement, in an era I like to call 'social movements', we have a hard time of saying 'no' to the simplest of things. 'No' is a refusal skill that implies a disagreement or rejection to something (concept, question, etc.). Instead of saying 'no' we will substitute our disagreeable or rejectable response for longer, and more sensitive responses that can lead to ambiguity - meaning the respondee may be lead to believe that there is hope to their question.

So why do we do this? Having respect, and being respectful for others feelings could be a reason; as we are taught such behavior from a young age. However, we can still have respect for others, and their feelings, without embodying the qualities of pussification (pretentiousness, fake, ambiguity, non-genuine, not 'keeping it real').

Here are some real world examples on how you can un-pussificate yourself:

Can you help me out and do some of my work?



old: "I'll see if I can get around to it"
try: "No, I'm not going to do your work".


Did you mess up on that 1st quarter report?



old: "I'm not sure, I don't think I did that"
try: "No, I don't have any recollection to what you are referring to"


Honey, can we go see Sex and the City?



old: "I'll see, I got a lot of things to do later on"
try: "No, that is for chicks, I'm a man".


Do you like my outfit?



old: "Its okay"
try: "No, its wack - it needs work."


Want to hit up the club tonight?



old: "Not really, I'm kind of busy tonight, and the club is kind of expensive, and I'm trying to save my money"
try: "No, that club that your going to is weak and has ugly women"


In all, people respect those that give respect, and furthermore, people can - or at least should, respect an honest opinion. Its okay to disagree with someone - there may be some notion or perception that saying 'no' may lead to an argument of some kind, when in all honesty it is not a start of an argument per say, but the start of a discussion, a dialogue of sorts. An open exchange of opposing, differing, and even similar views - try it sometimes, you may be surprised with the results, and even with what you learn.

.:: d.b ::.

~ Life in B Major ~

Pussification pt. 1 - Criticism

Pussification, pt. 1 - criticism
Virtues: criticism (duh), bodies of work, constructive, pride, 'tough skin'
View Pussification pt. 0 - An Abstract, to get familiar.


This is not a piece on American Idol, as it continues another run to churn out a pop tart, I’m tired of Idol, but I’m going to use one of Idol’s ‘stars’ to touch on acts in pussification; specifically on the topic of ‘criticism’.

Many hate on him, but I think that Simon Cowell deserves some award for being so genuine - in an industry that doesn't know what the word means. We have all seen American Idol and especially the horrid singers perform a putrid rendition of a pop classic. Simon received criticism for being too brutally critical on these performers because he said "You are Horrible", "You can't sing", and other quips. The politically correct culture that we live in advocated that Simon should not be so negative to the contestants, which he should take on a more Paula approach & sugar coat any criticisms of the contestants.

On one hand, I get the reasoning of such an argument criticisms can affect self-esteem, and that can lead to some in losing their motivation. However, learning to handle criticism is necessary in life3B especially in any performance-.driven industry where you put yourself 'out there'.

Now, there is the Simon route of delivering criticism - which even I agree may be too harsh at times (but entertainingly funny), and then there is the blunt approach accompanied with an explanation. For example, "Molly the Singer, your performance was weak because of points A, B, and C, thus you shouldn't sing unless you correct A, B, and C" - that is the chord that one should strike when being critical, because being or saying anything else such as saying you like the performance when you didn't is not being real with yourself and is an act in pussification that you may think is small, but w/ repetition can manifest into a bigger & more problematic behavior.

As a Multimedia producer I have had to swallow harsh criticisms, I know that the criticism does not only attack your work/craft, but it attacks YOU because the work is a derivative of whom you are & all of your experiences, thoughts, and education. I learned to handle the harsh criticism, and now I even look forward to it (maybe that’s my pseudo way of coping w/ criticisms, who knows), but what I hated even worse was when someone said they 'liked' my work, but were lying because they 'did not want to hurt my feelings'. For those type of people I have no respect - And such is why I give you my 'all' when I'm asked for my opinion.

Because as Jay said "I may not always be right, but I'm real and that is how I sleep at night"

P.S. I sleep well!

.: d.b :.

View Pussification pt. 0 - An Abstract, to get familiar.

Pussification, pt. 0

Pussification, pt. 0 - an abstract
Virtues: changed, dynamics, empowerment, pride, 'stand-up'

No, its not what you think it is - I don't craft porn-esque blogs or pieces. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but its not my style.

What I am referring to is the current and evolving state of our society since the feminist movement. It really gathered steam throughout the 80's and 90's, and is now a dominant force in the 2000's. The urbandictionary .com definition of pussification is: "the state in which a society becomes less and less tough", the origins of the word seems to come from comedian George Carlin (remember "Seven Dirty Words").

I'd like to add to the definition that pussification is the state in which not only is society becoming less and less tough, but society is becoming overly 'politically correct' to the point where telling the 'truth' takes a backseat to being 'polite' - for fear of 'offending' anyone.

This is only pt. 0 in my series, as I will illustrate over time, the countless acts of pussification that exists in the world, and even in my life time. Everything will be touched on from, profession, education, relationships, to politics ... the stink of pussification is strong (pun intended).

.:: d.b


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Sources: urbandictionary.com | wikipedia.com