The Intuitive Waitress?

The Intuitive Waitress?
Virtues: proactive, stereotypes, prejudice, customer service

I once worked in a restaurant, I only lasted a few weeks as a bus boy; carting dishes from the tables to the back for washing. One thing that I noticed about the waiters at the restaurant was that they took a proactive stance in trying to anticipate what the customer would want. Which makes sense, because the waitresses are trying to get a larger tip for providing good customer service. Keep in mind though, that the waitress has to use their preconceived notions about the customer in order to be 'proactive'.

Jumping to the present, my girl and I have gone out to a couple of restaurants and we have both noticed a trend in the way wait staff are being 'proactive'; we both have different interpretations of this proactive behavior.

Incident One:
Were at a nice Asisan Cusine restaurant, I order a pad thai, and a platter of spring rolls; my girl ordrers some noodle dish. The waiter, a middle-aged asian man comes over and asks me specifically if I would like some hot sauce with my pad thai. I've had pad thai many times before, and I was never asked such a question.

Incident Two:
In a trendy part of time at a cafe/restaurant with a romantic/intimate ambience. I order a pad thai (again), and my girl orders a noodle dish (again). Now, this particular pad thai dish already came with spices, and our waitress asked me specifically again, if I would like hot sauce.

So based on these situations, I got to pose the question, are the intuitiveness of the waiters a sign of being proactive to the customer (as is my position) or is the intuitiveness a sign of disrespect and racial stereotyping (as the girlfriend is advocating).

I can't call it, what do y'all think?

(P.S. I am a Young Black Entrepreneur Extradornaire ... may help with your assessment)

Silly Monkeys! Part 1: The Banker 'Strong-Arm Mike'

Silly Monkeys! Part 1: The Banker 'Strong-Arm Mike'
Virtues: stereotypes, uphill battle, struggle, 'cant win'

Strong-Arm Mike is the tight-ass banker. Mike is the branch manager and takes pride in the power that he has over his minions. Mike is middle-aged, unhappily married, and work is a refuge from 'home'. Thus, it is only fitting to make your refuge similar to your fantasy, thus Mike's branch has a suspiciously high number of young, attractive female employees. Mike is a creature of routine, habitually and consistently. Strong-Arm keeps the order and equilibrium in his branch, and of course, Mike has the last and final word on all matters.

Mike's primary motive is to protect the interests of the bank, and to maximize profits - at all costs. So Mike is a witty, slick guy. Strong-Arm is the type of guy to give you a hard time for loans, credit, and for even opening an account; Strong-Arm likes to scrutinize a lot, and even 'play dumb'. Even if you make sense, you have correct documentation, Strong-Arm Mike will find a way to make your life difficult. You see, Mike knows that you need him more than he needs you, and he knows that you are willing to sacrifice a bit in order to get what you want - which he controls. In my experiences, Strong-Arm Mike forced my biz partner to open up a personal account when it was absolutely not necessary for the business that we had. But Mike, flexed his muscle; not his physical, like many street thugs like to do, but his financial muscle - which is even stronger. That day we were treated like the silly monkeys, bowing to Strong-Arm, we had to accept his terms; which were so unconventional that the personal banker that we dealt with regarding this matter felt so embarrassed and shocked that this was happening to us. Hmm, she probably never seen anything like this before.

But Silly Monkeys get special treatment, right? Silly Monkey series to be continued, next the 'Entrepreneur' ...

.:: d.b

The boys in blue, black, brown

Law Enforcement & Race

In the black community, there is a strong disdain for law enforcement. Historically, the law enforcement has enforced the racist and segregation laws of the government. Thus, it is only fitting that the black community did not trust and/or respect law enforcement (since it wasn't being reciprocated). Out of this frustration grew the Black Panther Party, which was an organization of individuals (primarily black) who 'policed' their own community; which is somewhat noble, however we all know what happened to the black panther party (google it if you are unaware). Even the Crips, the notorious gang out of Westside L.A. that now spawns the world in crip blue attire, started off as a child (not literally, but metaphorically) from the Black Panther Party; the Crips had a mandate to initiate social change in their community - however, the allure of drugs trumped that ideology.

So it can be said that from generation to generation, has attitudes and behaviors are passed down from parent to child, it is not hard to understand that even up to this very day, the black community, specifically the young black community have a strong disdain for police. Movements such as 'Stop Snitching' are not just a slogan on a T-shirt, but the Stop snitching campaign represents a concept that is shared by many.

What I find funny, and let me know if this has happened to you, is that some of my friends whom claim that cops are always harassing and 'racially profiling' them are the same individuals that actually engage in illegal activities and/or have been involved in the legal system before. Has this ever happened to you?

The Black Type

We all know that stereotypes exist for all races & cultures. In a definitional construct, a stereotype can be defined as a generalized statement regarding behavior or attitude for a group of people. Stereotypes are usually developed from either personal experiences or are absorbed from various media texts. Personally, stereotyping is a part of human functioning - on a cognitive level it is applying a mental framework (set of ideas & concepts) to a situation, problem, or interactions. The problem for the 'art' of stereotyping comes in its application - treating people a certain way because of a stereotype. I'm sure we have all experienced that feeling - some more than others, and I accept this reality. My qualm is not really the 'treatment', but the "limits of potential" that stereotypes can exert.

I get that being a young black male that I am maladapted, aggressive, may have several illegitimate children, very fashionable, do several drugs, and have a lack of respect for authority figures - due primarily to the absence of a father figure in my childhood. Now with that fact(s) I am also an entrepreneur. In regards to entrepreneurs, when I tell others that I have businesses, the primary assumption is that I am either creating a music label or clothing line. Whats alarming is that black, white, asian, brown people like place the same limit: the extent of the 'Black Entrepreneur' is limited to Music & Fashion. So one can imagine the shocking expressions I receive when I tell others that I have a Media & Event Planning Company; worse when I get into rich descriptive detail regarding concepts & terms. The change in behavioral expression (facial, body, verbal) is almost instant - the limits that were disposed on me had been shattered & something significant has happened. I am now no longer a "constant, predictable negro" in their eyes - I now represent a variable that can not easily be defined by existing stereotypes. Making my potential limitless - of course, I knew this all the time, but it brings me a sense of joy to 'school' others from time to time whom try to limit me.

NOTE:
Ironically, when you stereotype others & place limitations on their behavior, you kind of limit your own abilities to think outside the 'box' or paradigm.

Irony is a Bitch isn't it?